I opened my eyes and immediately shut them back the lights were so bright it was making this headache I had worse.
“Jamila,” I heard my sister Jaida calling my name so I popped my eyes back open. She’s awake she yelled causing me to flinch. “I’m sorry did I scare you Mila?” she asked.
I shook my head back and forth and my eyes started to tear up.
“Where are my babies?” I asked very lowly, my throat was a little sore.
“Well baby boy is good but baby girl is struggling a little bit. She’s not breathing on her own the doctor said just give her a couple weeks and she should be doing better.”
I started crying thinking about my baby girl and the fact that she was having a hard time breathing.
“Has anyone heard from Akir? How long have I been in here?” I asked.
“Umm no not yet,” she said solemnly. “I spoke to Tah a couple days ago and he told me the cops pulled them over and was arresting Akir but they both took off running in opposite directions so he doesn’t know if Akir got away or not. You’ve been here for four days.”
I just nodded my head acknowledging that I heard everything she said. Just as she finished talking the doctor came in and explained that I had been out for about three days, and I lost a lot of blood so I was very weak so I would have to stay at least another week or two. I wasn’t happy about staying but I knew I needed to get better so I could take care of myself and my babies. The doctor went on to basically explain everything Jaida told me about my babies then he said he would have a nurse bring my son in and then someone could bring me later to see my daughter. He gave me a little pain medication then walked out.
“So how is…” my words were cut short because the door opened, I was super excited to see that it was my best friend walking through the door as well as my sisters best friend Zeera. We both started crying as she reached up to hug me she flinched a little.
“Bestie I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. Shit has been so damn crazy” I said.
“Girl Bye, you better stop apologizing to me we both been through some straight bullshit in the last couple months. I’m just happy you and my twinnies made it out okay and in the process you made sure Suriya was good.”
“Oh my goodness Suriya, is she okay?” I asked thinking about everything she had endured.
“Yes she’s fine she was a little shaken up. She told me that she had to help you with the babies.”
“I feel so bad putting her in that position but I didn’t have no other choice. I know Kareem is probably pissed off with me.”
“Knock it off Mila, you probably that nigga favorite person right now. He keep saying how he owe you and shit for keeping his baby safe.”
“I wish Akir was here.” I said to know one in particular.
“I know.” Sanaa replied rubbing my hand. “Well I can’t stay long. My doctor be on some bullshit,” she said pouting.
“He’s just looking out for you Sanaa, so you can make a good recovery.”
“Uh uh you just remember that shit when your ass is trying to climb out the bed to go and find Akirs’ ass.” she said as she turned herself towards the door and wheeled herself out.
I couldn’t do shit but laugh at her ol aggy ass but she was a hundred percent right. The nurse came in pushing the little crib that was holding my baby boy in it. I started to feel nervous. This was all new to me. She took him out and wrapped his blanket around him then put him in my arms. When I looked at him it was like…I don’t know I can’t even think of the words to express the feeling he gave me. He was the spitting I’mage of Akir. He had the same chocolate complexion as his father and his hair was curly he had plump little cheeks. I couldn’t stop kissing his face. He started to squirm in my arms and I finally stopped. I guess I was disturbing his sleep.
After spending about an hour kissing and drooling over my baby boy, I had the nurse come and take him so I could go see my baby girl. When I got over to the NICU, I had to wash my hands and put another gown on top of the one I was wearing. I walked over to see her in the incubator that was keeping her warm. She had a feeding tube and some other wires connected to her but I wasn’t sure exactly what they were for. I asked the nurse could I take her out and she said when they take the feeding tube out then I could hold her. I was upset that I couldn’t hold my baby yet but I was able to reach in and touch her. She was so beautiful she looked like both Akir and me. She had thick curly hair like mine but she was her father’s complexion. I spent some time in there with her for as long as I could then I went back to my room. I was starting to feel a little pain again. I don’t know how long I was sleep but I was awakened by my phone ringing. I didn’t recognize the number but I answered anyway.
“Hello.” I heard my baby’s voice come through the phone.
“Aye lil mama,” I said.
“Baby where are you? We need you, can you come here?”
“I wish I could lil ma, I swear I would but I can’t.”
“Why not? Where are you baby?”
“I’m locked up Mila. They got me in the county jail man. I’m fucking pissed. I tried to give my mother another chance to step up and be a parent and she fucked me over again,” I said angrily. “But fuck all that what’s up with my babies?”
She sighed. “Well baby boy is doing great he weighed in at six pounds and little momma only weighed four pounds. She’s having trouble breathing and eating on her own so they have her in the NICU. Akir I’m scared; she so tiny. I just want to pick her up and hold I wish I could snap my fingers and she was fine. Wait how are you calling me straight through if you locked up?”
“My bunkie had somebody sneak a phone in here and shit, this is how I’m going to be contacting you, but damn lil ma, I wish I was there with y’all but don’t stress baby; look at who her parents are. She’s going to be fine just keep praying; no stressing. They need you to be strong. I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone.”
“Well tell me what the fuck happened Akir?”
“Mannnn it’s too much to explain over this phone. I don’t have enough time. I have to give ol boy his phone back but listen I spoke to Tah before I called you and he told me what went down. Trust me, when I come home I’ma dead that nigga Ryan and Keisha too if she ain’t already dead. You did you’re thing getting my kids and Suriya out of there safely. I owe you the world Mila and I love you Ma. I probably won’t be able to call again until next week. I’m not talking over these jail phones they already got me in here on some bullshit. I’m not trying to make it worse. I love you and kiss my babies for me. When you get out the hospital and shit go pick up the twins tell them what’s up. I don’t want them staying with my aunt for too long. You know how shit is over there.
“Okay baby I love you more. Write me please.”
“I got you. Wait Mila!”
“Yea babe,” she answered?
“What we going to name them?”
“Um I was thinking Miracle and Jahree.”
“Yea I like that lil mama. I’ll talk to you in a couple days,” I said hanging up. I gave my bunkie his phone back and laid on this uncomfortable ass bed hoping that I was able to get out of this stupid ass situation.
I can’t believe I was really going to try and help my mother when in all the years I’ve been around she never wanted to help her damn self. I actually fell for her act too. That night I ran into her, I was able to get her to put the motel room in her name. Of course I had to give her a couple dollars.
We sat up and talked all night about all the different things I had going on in my life good and bad. She asked about my brother and sister. She even promised to go to rehab and get her life together. I wanted to believe her for my own selfish reasons. I’m saying even though I was grown, I still wanted my mother around but I wanted her around clean and healthy; not the way she was now. I told her if she helped me out I would help her out. I needed her to run to the store and get me some clothes and something to get those fucking cuffs off of my wrist. I gave her some money to get the stuff and some extra money for herself hoping that would give her some incentive. She was gone for like five hours and I said fuck it I was going to get some rest and figure out my next move. I figured she wasn’t coming back so I was surprised when she showed up the next day with everything I asked for. We were sitting around reminiscing about the times when things were good; when she was clean and even though it wasn’t a long amount of time. it was one of the best moments in me and the twins’ life.
Throughout the conversation she was a little irritable and kept breaking out in sweats. I brushed it off as her having some withdrawal symptoms. I ended up dozing off after a while. I woke up to the motel door being kicked in and the police swarming in. I jumped up out the bed and glanced towards the window trying to see if there was a way I could get out but I came up with nothing. I guess it was time for me to stop running. Before I could do anything, they told me to turn around so they could cuff me. I looked around and noticed my mother wasn’t in sight. I assumed she must’ve left while I was sleep to go satisfy her cravings. One of the cops was staring at me all funny like he had a personal problem with me so I asked that nigga do he know me. He spoke to the other cops who were searching the room and told them he had it from here. They all stepped out except for one guy who I’m assuming was his partner. As soon as they stepped out, he stole off on me hitting me square in the jaw; that shit hurt like a motherfucka but I would never let another man see me sweat.
“Why the fuck you putting you’re hands on me pig? I’m not resisting,” I yelled.
“That’s for what you’re little girlfriend did to my sister,” he said. “And this is for fucking up my life,” he continued as he hit me again.
I looked at him trying to see if I knew this nigga from somewhere and that’s when it registered to me. This was Keisha’s older brother. I hadn’t seen him since I was a young nigga but looking at him now he looked the same. I was never cool with the nigga he was one of them people that tried to fucking hard to be down. When we were younger, he would try to hang around the same crowd as us but he just didn’t fit in.
I’m not going to front I used to clown this nigga all the time. I couldn’t stand a fake nigga and that’s exactly what the fuck he was; a fucking fake. He tried to act like he was tough. He wasn’t shit but a fraud though. One day, I found out from my mother; the one time that she was actually looking out for a nigga; that he was snitching on a couple older niggas that I ran with. Apparently when she got arrested, he was at the police station and he was singing like a bird. I had someone look into it and turns out he was and I exposed his ass to everybody. I heard he got shot up. After that, I never heard shit about him and now I see why; he went and became a fucking pig.
Needless to say after all the shit talking he did, they took me in and charged me with a whole bunch of bullshit but they ain’t have shit on me. They said I was an accessory to murder. Hopefully that bitch Keisha died in that fucking hospital because she was the only person that could finger us being there. In the mean time, I was going to sit back and think of a way to get the fuck out of this situation. I had to get home to my girl and my kids.
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